


Hello

by TheYellowTurtle



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Canon, Friendship, LGBTQ Character, M/M, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 22:02:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4116396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheYellowTurtle/pseuds/TheYellowTurtle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tao and Sehun talk on the phone (Basically, Trans!Tao leaving EXO)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hello

**Author's Note:**

> Don't really know what this is...
> 
> Constructive criticism is welcome :)
> 
> Still need to edit this thing...

It’s evening when I call him. 

I watch the waves crash and the sun melt in the sky as I listen to the chirps and the running river of his dial tone. It doesn’t match the scenery. Then again this scenery doesn’t match the plans we made. He would have been running into the water, dragging me along, only to probably push me in and laugh at my screams. He would have been here. We would have been here together. 

“Tao,” he answers, despite the time difference. His voice is scratchy. Hopefully, he isn’t getting sick. 

“Hun,” I murmur, not finding it in myself to have more enthusiasm. Swallowing, I pick at the rips in my light wash jeans. 

“How is physical therapy going?” He speaks slowly, drawing out the words. He doesn’t want to break the ice we’re treading on. 

“We already missed the window of opportunity for full recovery, but the doctors are optimistic. I’ll be fine in the future, you won’t even be able to tell I was ever injured.” The answer is true, but it sounds fake to me. This isn’t why I called. 

“That’s great!” he sings. I can easily picture his eyes crinkling into one of his trademark smiles. “I hope you’re recovered soon.” 

'I hope you come back to us soon' is what I hear. Squeezing my eyes shut, I take a deep breath. I didn’t want it to be this way either. The company is a dick, I know that. I could see why the others left when the initial shock wore off. I could see myself forgiving them. But I also meant it when I said I would stay. I didn’t want to break my promises. I told myself I could endure it and I thought I could. 

However, things just never seem to go according to the plans I map out in my head. 

I don’t want to be a hypocrite and I don’t want to go against my family’s wishes and I don’t want to leave the group and I don’t want the injury to worsen and I don’t want to leave Sehun behind. 

“Tao,” he calls, putting a stop to my musing. “Are you not coming back?” 

I freeze, the guilt swallowing me whole. I wanted to say it myself, but I guess Sehun knows me too well. 

“I’m not coming back,” I confirm, digging my bare feet into the sand. It’s still warm from the sun.

There’s only the hum of the connection before he responds, “Why?”

It’s a loaded question. I swallow and try to control my breathing. “I decided it was time to become myself." 

“You’re going to transition?” he questions slowly. 

“Yes.” I rub at my eyes, cursing myself for the tears that are escaping. I didn’t want to lose it until after the conversation, after I said goodbye. When I called I knew that the chances of this turning out horribly were high. I was breaking a plethora of promises. 

The promise to go through thick and thin together until the contracts ended. 

The promise to come back. 

The promise to not further divide the group.

The promise to transition after the contracts were over.

The promise that he could hold my hand when it was happening. 

The promise that he could stay by my side. 

I was breaking all of them. All of my tear-filled, heart-felt promises, all of them were nothing now. I was hurting one of the people I wanted to hurt the least. To transition meant to never to return to EXO.

I was so grateful towards Sehun. He accepted my identity and never questioned it. He used my preferred pronouns. He helped hide my stuff from preening eyes. But even more so, he wasn’t a person being an ally out of some sort of personal moral duty. 

He was simply being himself. He was being Oh Sehun.  He was the person for midnight road trips and snacks, for cuddling and snuggling, for laughing and teasing. He was my friend. 

But I’m only human. I know it’s not selfish for wanting to transition and to finally be comfortable in my own skin. However, despite, my parents supporting me, I still feel this gnawing guilt that I could have held on until the contract was over. That Joonmyun-hyung’s and Sehun’s support could have been enough. 

My soul is screaming for it, though; to finally be free. To finally have people stop misgendering me and living under the guise of Huang ZiTao. 

“Sehun, p-"

“That’s great,” he says, cutting me off. “I’m so happy for you. That you can finally transition.”

Hiccuping, I wipe my eyes. 

“Tao, it’s ok. I’ll miss you… a lot…but knowing you’re happy somewhere will make it ok. It’s…it’s ok if you break your promises. They were fucking unrealistic to begin with…and a lot of them put you in second place.” 

“So it’s ok?”

“Of course,” he sniffles. 

“Are you crying?” I attempt to tease through my own tears. 

“Like you aren’t, ugly!” he retorts. 

“I’m not ugly!”

“You’ll always be the ugliest attractive person I know!”

I snort. “That doesn’t make any fucking sense, Hun!”

He laughs through the phone. “Yes it does, it makes perfect sense,” he sniffles again through the line. 

“I’m gonna miss you,” I whisper, “A lot.”

“I know. I’m fucking fantastic. Of course, you’ll miss me,” he chokes out, completely ruining his guise of cockiness. I curse to myself when a fresh set of tears start flowing. 

“Hey, on the bright side, you’ll be getting more lines now, Hun. Keep practicing Chinese and do them well.” It’s a poor attempt at empathy and we both know it. 

“I’d rather have you and e-x-o,” he murmurs. I find myself wiping at a runny nose. This isn’t fucking fair. “But,” he continues, “Even more so, I’d rather have you happy and healthy.”  

Digging my feet into the sand, I attempt to calm myself by listening to the crashing of waves. 

“Goodbye, Tao.”

“Goodbye, Sehun.”

“Until we can say hello again.”

He hangs up.

 


End file.
